You know the tell-tale signs of Crazy Rich Asians. But putting aside that bridge named after your grandfather, or that wardrobe that fits a family, how can you be sure that you’re part of the bona-fide crazy rich Asian crowd? Take our Tatler Test to find out!
1. How much of Bangkok is yours?
a. There’s a khet named after my family.
b. My parents don’t care much for land, but we do have some 100 rai down in the Ramkamhaeng area.
c. My family has shares in some hotels around Chitlom.
d. I’m nearly done with the down payment for a mortgage on my townhouse, so that’ll be mine in twenty years!
2. Are you one of Bangkok’s most eligible?
a. I haven’t found someone as crazy, rich and Asian as me. These things are important when you have an inheritance on the line like I do.
b. I’m on the lookout for a millionaire to pull me up the social ladder.
c. Here’s a picture of me and my boyfriend at a café in matching shirts!
d. I’ve been married for years now with three kids. Still trying to figure out how to put them through school but my second job as Grab driver helps.
3. Where did you go to school?
a. I went to some exclusive private boarding school in the UK. Uniforms were hideously old-fashioned and food was horrendous.
b. My parents are diplomats so I had a free ride through ISB.
c. I was sent to Triam Udom so that I would get into Chula.
d. I was home-schooled mostly and got a scholarship for Uni.
4. Which exclusive sports club are you a member of?
a. RBSC and RBSC Polo, obviously. Wait, are there other places to exercise?
b. I sometimes go to The British Club with friends—they have pretty good club sandwiches.
c. Virgin Fitness. Used to be a member of California Wow, but I think they went bankrupt.
d. Just got accepted as a member of the gym at my condo. Very pumped!
5. Do you speak a second Asian language?
a. Of course—my parents never let me skip Chinese classes because I’m the heir to their empire and the Chinese market matters everywhere.
b. I speak basic Tagalog. My nanny was from the Philippines and it rubbed off on me.
c. The only Asian language I speak is my native tongue. Also, my name is apparently Thai for “water”. Did you know this?
d. Does Tinglish count?
6. What car do you drive?
a. A red one mostly. You mean on weekdays or weekends? I prefer the Rolls-Royce Phantom, just FYI. I plan to get a driving license soon.
b. Depends if daddy wants to take the Porsche out. But the Lexus is nice.
c. I share the family Toyota.
d. The BTS works fine in Bangkok.
7. How do you raise your dog?
a. My pup is definitely a Gucci Girl.
b. I’m not sure. I have a maid for that.
c. Dog food. All-hail Nestle Purina PetCare!
d. I sometimes leave scraps out for the soi dog.
8. Where was the place you last visited?
a. I visited my friend’s palace in Abu Dhabi a couple days back. The dust was an issue.
b. I just came back from a plastic surgery trip in Korea.
c. Planning Sapporo next summer for an organized tour.
d. Just visited family in Chiang Mai. The bus ride is fun.
9. How big is your wardrobe closet?
a. I’m looking to buy the condo unit next door to store the latest Fall/Winter collections.
b. I have a classmate who claims her bedroom is the same size as my closet. My housekeeper did get lost in it once though.
c. I have a new wardrobe set from IKEA that fits everything in nicely.
d. I have 6 hangers on the wall. I can get most of tee shirts on that.
10. What is your profession?
a. My dad says I don’t need one, but I get bored so sometimes I help do PR stuff for the family.
b. I’m in investment banking. It’s a boring job so I also have my own clothing line as a side thing.
c. I go to exclusive parties with my friends. It’s a full-time thing, you know.
d. I’m flitting between different nine-to-fives. Haven’t really found anything I like yet.
11. Tell us about your social media habits?
a. I hired someone to help with my IG account when I passed a million followers.
b. I love it and have 10,000 foodie posts which I share with my closest friends. And selfies too, obviously.
c. I don’t post but I follow all the latest K Pop bands
d. I don’t have a smart phone yet.
Your Results:
Mostly A’s: Of course you are a bona-fide Crazy Rich Asian, but you knew that anyway didn’t you!
Mostly B’s: Well you might be crazy but you are probably not yet quite rich enough. Keep trying!
Mostly C’s: You are most likely Asian but definitely not crazy or rich enough.
Mostly D’s: Are you sure you are Asian? In any case definitely not crazy or rich enough.
