Children who regularly act out, resist limits, or demand attention may not be simply spoiled—they might be expressing unmet emotional needs. According to conscious parenting expert Reem Raouda, these behaviors often reflect issues in connection, boundaries, and emotional regulation rather than material excess or entitlement.
Having studied over 200 children, Raouda identifies five specific behaviors that signal emotional disconnection and provides guidance for parents seeking to rebuild trust and foster resilience.
Raouda, a parenting researcher and certified coach, notes that what is commonly viewed as spoiled behavior is often misunderstood. Children are frequently labeled as difficult when they are, in reality, struggling to feel seen and secure. Addressing these concerns requires more than discipline—it calls for intentional, empathetic engagement from caregivers. Her findings emphasize a shift from control-based parenting to connection-focused strategies.
These observations come at a time when many families are navigating complex dynamics, often under pressure from competing schedules and digital distractions. Raouda’s advice urges parents to prioritize emotional presence over material compensation, arguing that strong, trusting relationships are foundational to healthy development.
Difficulty accepting boundaries
One of the most telling signs of emotionally spoiled behavior is a child’s inability to tolerate the word “no.” Raouda explains that this reaction is less about defiance and more about the child’s struggle with unclear or inconsistent boundaries. When rules feel unpredictable, children may push back to regain a sense of control in their environment.
“Instead of just saying ‘no’ and moving on,” she advises, parents should acknowledge the child’s feelings while setting the limit: “I see that you’re upset because you want to keep playing, but it’s time for bed now.” This approach reinforces that rules are not about control but about fostering trust and ensuring safety.
According to CNBC, such compassionate enforcement of boundaries helps children feel more secure and reduces the emotional friction that can arise from authoritarian or inconsistent rule-setting.
Excessive need for attention
Another red flag is the constant need for attention, especially when children interrupt frequently or cling in social settings. This behavior, Raouda notes, often stems from emotional disconnection and uncertainty about their role in the family.
Rather than viewing this as clinginess or manipulation, parents should consider whether the child feels emotionally secure. Raouda recommends dedicating 10 to 20 minutes of undistracted daily time with each child. These consistent, present moments help affirm a child’s worth and diminish the need for constant validation.
As reported, when children feel emotionally anchored through these moments of connection, their outward demands for attention tend to fade naturally.
Resistance to responsibility and gratitude
Children who resist responsibility—refusing to clean up, avoiding homework, or giving up quickly—may not be lazy but rather unsure of their capabilities. Raouda believes this can result from being either overprotected or pushed too soon into independence.
She encourages parents to engage children in collaborative, age-appropriate tasks and to celebrate effort rather than results. These shared experiences build a sense of competence and teamwork.
A similar misinterpretation occurs with gratitude. Children who appear ungrateful may be overwhelmed by excessive material rewards and lacking in emotional connection. Raouda stresses that appreciation grows from meaningful interactions, such as preparing meals together or creating something by hand.
“When kids feel that they belong, contribute and are valued,” she says, “appreciation follows.” According to, reframing how gratitude is taught—through participation rather than prizes—can reshape children’s understanding of value and contribution.
