In the fast-paced world of restaurants, interactions with staff are a real test of our social intelligence. Often, these moments of dining, where food and conversation blend, also serve as opportunities to test our ability to manage our emotions and communicate respectfully. Yes, it’s possible to enjoy a meal while cultivating subtle social skills, but sometimes, we slip up, and that’s when these little “lost” phrases ruin the vibe.
“Can you hurry up? I’m in a rush”
We’ve all been in that situation where we feel like the service is taking forever. Maybe you have an urgent meeting, or you’re just trying to wrap up your day. But there’s a way to communicate your urgency without sounding like a tyrant. Asking “Can you hurry up?” expresses impatience clearly and creates unnecessary pressure on the staff. Instead, try something more polite, like, “I understand you’re busy, but could I get my dish a bit faster?”
This reflects an inability to manage impatience, a lack of empathy, and a tendency to demand without considering others. People with strong social intelligence know how to express urgency without being rude.
“This is disgusting”
Criticism is an art. Saying “This is disgusting” after tasting a dish doesn’t just harm the person serving you, but it also puts up a barrier between you and the possibility of improving the situation. If a dish doesn’t meet your expectations, it’s more productive to offer constructive feedback, like, “I find this dish a bit too salty, could you add some more?
Using such harsh words creates distance with the other person and makes future conversations difficult. A good communicator knows how to express dissatisfaction without demeaning the other.
“I pay well, so you should do your job right”
Ah, this classic phrase. It’s often used by customers who think that by paying, they are entitled to perfect service. Of course, every customer deserves quality service, but phrasing it like this puts unnecessary pressure on the employees. They’re not there to “submit,” but to offer their expertise.
It shows a sense of entitlement and treats others as “servants” rather than partners in a shared experience. A more empathetic approach would be: “I would really appreciate quick service, I have a tight schedule.”
“Do you even know what you’re doing?”
This question is often asked in an accusatory tone, calling into question the other person’s competence. Imagine being a waiter or chef and having someone ask this after a mistake with their order. The pressure becomes instantly heavier, and the atmosphere tense.
A question like this creates a confrontational dynamic rather than a collaborative one. People with high social intelligence know how to ask questions without blaming the other person. For example, “I’m a bit confused, could you help me understand?”
“You should tip me for waiting”
Ah, the moral blackmail! If you’ve been waiting for a while to be served, it’s normal to feel frustrated. However, asking or suggesting a tip because of a perceived long wait is a bad way to manipulate the situation. It shows a lack of awareness of the challenges employees might face, like a busy restaurant or unforeseen kitchen delays.
It shows a lack of compassion. Employees don’t need additional pressure to do their job. A simple, respectful remark about the wait time is enough to communicate your point without demanding something in return.
“Do you even know who I am?”
And here’s the golden nugget. Using this phrase in a restaurant instantly radiates arrogance and a desire for special treatment. If you’re one of those who likes to play on your status, know that it doesn’t impress anyone—it just makes things uncomfortable. Want exceptional service? Treat everyone with respect, regardless of your status.
This phrase screams “I’m better than you,” which is rarely well received. A true social leader doesn’t seek to impose their position, but to inspire respect through behavior and communication.
