Deciding to have a child is one of the biggest decisions a couple can make. Most couples focus on the physical preparations, like taking folic acid or cutting back on alcohol, but one crucial step is often overlooked: strengthening the relationship itself before welcoming a baby. Therapist Chelsey Liaga explains why working on your bond as a couple can transform your experience of parenthood and create a more solid foundation for the challenges ahead.
Focusing on more than just physical health
When couples start planning for a baby, attention usually goes to physical health. Eating well, improving sperm quality, and following medical advice like taking folic acid are standard parts of preparation. Yet, Chelsey Liaga points out that these steps are not enough if emotional readiness and parental cooperation are neglected. According to her, nearly two-thirds of couples report a drop in marital happiness within three years of having a child. That’s a huge shift that can sometimes feel overwhelming.
The arrival of a baby changes everything—routines, priorities, sleep patterns, and emotional dynamics. Liaga stresses that couples who invest time and effort into their relationship before pregnancy tend to handle these changes more effectively. “Having a baby can turn your life upside down for a while,” she says, “so having good systems and routines in place can help you feel more stable as a couple as you navigate growing your family”.
Honest conversations and habits
One of the best ways to prepare is through open, honest conversations about expectations, fears, and how each partner envisions parenthood. Communication is key to preventing misunderstandings and conflicts that often arise when a baby enters the picture unexpectedly.
Beyond talking, couples should also build daily habits that nourish their connection. Liaga recommends scheduling regular date nights or outings to keep the spark alive. These moments of closeness help maintain intimacy and remind couples they are still a team, even when life gets hectic.
Maintaining the relationship after the baby arrives
After the baby is born, the focus naturally shifts to the little one’s needs. Still, Liaga emphasizes the importance of carving out time for each other. Simple acts like watching a movie together at home or sharing a quiet meal can help partners reconnect amid busy days.
Even couples with more than one child can benefit from renewing their relationship focus. Liaga encourages parents to care for themselves individually, as personal well-being strengthens the partnership. Taking small steps, such as going to bed a bit earlier or enjoying short walks together, can boost both physical and emotional health.
Small steps that lead to big improvements
Liaga advises starting with manageable goals. Small but consistent actions can build a warm and supportive environment, not only for the couple but also for the future child. “The best thing you can do for your relationship, is to look after yourself! The most important thing you can do is take care of your physical and emotional health,” she explains. This approach helps partners support each other and create a positive atmosphere for their family to grow.
The journey to parenthood, therefore, goes beyond physical readiness. It’s about deepening the emotional connection and understanding between partners before and after the baby arrives. Investing in the relationship lays the groundwork for resilience and happiness as the family navigates new challenges.
